Now I get it. Shannon and I let the blog die, and I blame myself (I blame Shannon more honestly but in the art of selflessness, I'll take the bullet). So what, you may ask, could be so ground-breakingly amazing and important that I would resurrect this lifeless piece of internet property? The Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer has dropped folks. I recommend you watch it here. Actually, I insist you watch it, but I suggest you have an extra pair of pants nearby because I think I peed a little.
PS - Harrison Ford is dreamy, Shia LeBoef's facial hair is creepy and Karen Allen probably sold her soul to the devil because it appears she hasn't aged.
Apparently on Thursday scientists at the University of Minnesota discovered a big ass hole in the universe. How big you ask? Well apparently a billion light years across. And what, you may ask, constitutes a hole in the universe? This is no black hole. Black holes have a little something called “dark matter” which can’t be seen with the naked eye but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist… so they say. This is a legit “ain’t go no matter no way no how” hole and it’s HUGE. They don’t know why it exists. They don’t even know HOW it exists. It just does folks. Astrophysics is amazing.
Oh and if you’re befuddled by my simplistic description, here’s an overwhelmingly effective illustration/image that will obviously clear up all confusion.
I design websites. I know… you’re impressed. You can tell a new acquaintence you designed a brochure for Delta or the logo for the Queen of god damned England and they’ll give you this polite half smile and nod in the way one can only interpret as, “Wow. That’s great. For you. I guess.” Now throw in an off the cuff comment about designing websites and you get the over excited, “OMG!! Really? That’s c-razy! Could you design my / my dad’s / my boyfriend’s / my company’s / my yoga instructor’s website for $3 and a handful of buttons?!”
1) Negative. I’m poor enough as it is. (Send spare change!)
2) I’m a fraud. I don’t build websites. I design them. Please don’t ask me for any technical advice. I’ll just get embarrassed and quite possibly call you a jerk and run off crying.
I’m a phony, alright? I have a team of techie gurus who make my PSD file a reality with relatively little fuss. I’m spoiled. But what I’m getting at is sometimes it really hurts my feelings that you people, the “Non-Designer” set as it were, don’t appreciate what it is us BFA graduates really do. We make your life prettier dammit. Respect that.
But if you’re like me… as in a “fake web designer,” you may find these links helpful.
Button Builder! - Creates web buttons based on templates but allows multiple customization options. Let those PC folks see Mac style buttons (if only to rub it in). It can export them as gifs or even transparent pngs if you want to get really fancy.
Favicon Generator- What’s a favicon? Well it’s that tiny little logo you see in by the address in your web browser silly. This website let’s you upload a simple square gif and creates the .ico file FOR YOU. The ultimate in lazy website flare.
Fat Free Cart - E-commerce is complicated. Real complicated. Honestly, I don’t really know what it means. But this open source program basically creates your shopping cart for you. Full customizable but ultimately simple. Basically it’s the shit.
I assuredly use google ten kajillion times a day. In fact, I must frequent about forty kajillion identically styled utilitarian search engines / dictionaries / newsources / hour logging websites on any given day of the week. So when I stumble across a website that’s beauty and has pretty much no useful information I tend to spend half of my day fervently clicking about its pointless pages. The other day I not only found one of these sites but four identically awesome, enthrallingly interactive, uselessly original sites for some Oakley sponsored “Extreme” Athletes. They’re flashtastic and pull off that “so hip it went past cool, hauled ass around lame, then full ciricled back to hip” aesthetic I’ve come to enjoy so much.
Plus, each page provides its own delightfully odd features that make absolutely no sense! I’d start here (because he’s the best looking) and be sure to click on the “Other Lives” links to experience the full spectrum. If you can find the seagull or win Vicci’s couch I’ll kiss your ass.
In an unrelated topic, it’s been over 100 degrees in the Magic City for about a week straight (sucks to be Shannon). Enjoy your sweat induced comas kiddies.
I have always been fascinated by well executed trickery, especially in the form of art forgery. This Orson Welles documentary about ElmyrdeHory is my favorite Netflix rental thus far. F For Fake views more as an avantegarde art film than a documentary, and the film itself presents some tricks of its own. Welles explores authenticity through a story of the jet-set mid-1970s art world- you know I'm down... To quote Sean Gilder (I believe during the Martin Venezky talk at Biggin Hall, may it rest in peace) "As graphic designers, we are taught to steal." At the time we all snickered because Sean was admitting to unoriginality at an art talk Q&A with a "rockstar" status designer and every professor in the design department. But in hindsight I get where he was going with his statement. Originality is dead (duh), but through my being thrown into the world of advertising (a place I never though I would end up), I have become hyper aware of, lets call them "trends" in advertising. This is an article that categorizes our options. What is more important? Originality or using methods that people are accustomed to so it makes sense for them? Even when the creative worlds tries out something new, everyone jumps on board (when it works). If I hear the words "viral video" one more time I'll puke. At this point, you are thinking, "what the hell does all of this have to do with some forged Picassos?" Well friend, not a lot- I tend to digress. So uh, watch these cause they're funny: 1, 2, 3. (yeah, I just linked youtube videos...hurl). And to get back to the point, be sure to check out the guacamole at Elmyr in five points Atlanta if you ever get the chance...best I've ever had.